Disappear. You will come back better.
Chandresh explores the transformative power of 'disappearing' from the digital world to reconnect with our true selves. He discusses the seductive lure of likes and validations and how these can distract us from our authentic artistic and spiritual paths. Whether through nature walks, meditation, or mindful writing, you’ll learn how to silence the noise of social approval and cultivate a space where your true self can thrive. Step back from the digital circus, uncover the courage to disappear truly—and come back better.
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We live, we live in times where every like on social media feels like a dopamine hit in such times. How do you find the strength to disconnect and rediscover who you truly are in this episode? I want to share something essential, powerful and personal with you. It's about addiction, not to substances but to something. Almost all of us are in trouble are phones but phones are simply the bridge.
What happens through this phone is a much deeper and complicated problem. We seek a validation. We constantly are in hunt of satisfying our impulses, our gratification right in this moment, even if it's five seconds delayed, it kills the mood and we jump on to the next shiny object. If you are one of those who is addicted to social media, to using the phone to constantly seeking validation, permission approval outside of you, listen to this episode and listen till the end.
This is going to be interesting conversation and I'm very hopeful, you'll find some useful tips and insights to disappear to disconnect so that you can reconnect with yourself. I am Chandresh Bhardwaj and this is the Lila show.
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Now, must everyone? I hope you are feeling easy, cozy and great. A client of mine recently confessed to me. He said I'm addicted to social media. I am addicted to the likes the approval, the validation from attractive women. How brave of him to admit this, right? I consider this a brave confession because let's be honest, we all are in the same boat while he might be seeking approval from the attractive woman.
You know, you might be seeking approval from someone else, a human, a place, a situation, some algorithm or maybe the phone is simply the tool, the bridge to escape, you know, from the important work you should be doing a few months ago. I almost bought this digital lock from Amazon where you can put your phone in a lock and it won't open until the timer is off.
So if you put timer for three hours, there is no way you can unlock that box. I almost bought it until I read the description. You know, most of that description was toward the kids that kids are so addicted to the phones, to the devices and parents are advised to keep the phone in that plastic box. And after three hours, the kids will get the reward because the box is unlocked and they can use the phone.
When I read the description, I told myself, I think generation can do better. Let's put this box on hold for now. Let's try how he would do without buying the box. And since then, I have been experimenting, reflecting on maintaining more discipline with social media, but also maintaining more discipline with just the external noise that's constantly haunting us, wanting us to do things in a certain way.
I feel we have become clowns in a digital circus, creating our art, not for ourselves but for the applause and in doing so, we are losing a piece of our authentic self every day. In every way, the social media apps have become a machine, a beast that needs to be fed every day. And there's a trend I find very uncomfortable, there will be an influencer who's constantly living a certain kind of life.
It could be about anything, you know, maybe running every morning at 4 a.m. or writing for six hours a day or working for 14 hours a day, creating 10 reels in a day. It could be anything but they're doing it super consistently and obsessively and obviously they are teaching others to do the same. Now, many people start to do the same. They follow what their favorite influencer is doing and you know, some other who are not able to do it, they feel the anxiety that I'm not able to match to
the energy efficiency results of my favorite influencer. And that starts to create a collective anxiety. This trend continues to happen until you stop seeing the post on that influencer's youtube channel or Instagram. And you wonder what's going on a few weeks later, a few months later, they release a new long video, a new post, a series of posts that I couldn't keep up with that entire energy system.
I couldn't keep up that high vibe, high maintenance workout or writing routine or business routine. And I crashed, I felt sick. I resented everyone, but now I'm on the other side, I'm feeling much more peaceful. So here's the new program that will help you find the peace, the calm, the clarity and now they are dragging the people on the other side.
I feel it's a very uncomfortable transition of it. Picking up anxiety dumping on the other side, forcing others to join the race that they may not be ready for. Now, there is nothing wrong with selling a program. Nothing wrong with inspiring and motivating the followers, the students, the seekers. What's upsetting is setting an unrealistic expectation of how life needs to be lived because no one talks about life needs to be experienced.
Everyone is creating a system, a model, a method. This is how it needs to be lived. When I started getting into the circle of many influencers, popular social media figures I realized behind the scene, life is so different on the camera. It is so different. It obviously took off the pressure of my shoulder to match to a certain idea. But I'm a human every now and then I do start to question what am I doing?
Am I doing it? Right? Should I change this or that? But ultimately, what works for me is disappearing, completely disconnecting. So that reconnecting can happen, disconnect to reconnect. That's the mantra and that's what I hope to share with you today because while everyone is trying that hard to get in, I want to talk about how you get out.
How do you get out into a path that will lead back to your authentic self? Because here's the thing, we are walking into an era where people will invest in your energy. They'll pay you for your perspective, your experiences, they'll pay you for the energy you radiate. Because let's be honest, the advice, the value you bring that information is accessible through reading a bunch of books or watching a bunch of youtube channels or just browsing internet for a few hours a day,
whatever information we are giving, including myself. This information is not out of the planet. This information is stored in books. It can be nurtured through training practices and you do not need to pay anyone 5 to 6 figures. However, those 5 to 6 figures are justified when you're paying for something that is not hidden, something not available in those books, podcasts or channels.
And that is energy. I feel the human energy, the human consciousness is going to be the most powerful priceless commodity product in the future. It's already becoming that way. But the future belongs to those who are able to nurture and understand what this energy is all about. There's a book I recommend you to read. It's called levels of energy, simple and easy read.
But it talks about how we are constantly surrounded by a certain energetic frequency. A singer on stage singing for 10,000 people has a certain energy, a spiritual teacher has a certain energy. Now, a teacher holding space for five people or 5000 people, there's a certain frequency that's happening there. We all radiate a certain vibration and simply knowing that every place has a certain intention, energy field and you may choose to opt in or withdraw depending on of what
kind of energy it's generating, it's radiating. Disappearing here doesn't mean being depressed, disappearing does not mean you're running away from your problems disappearing. Doesn't mean you are not going to address the root cause of your loneliness, anxiety or whatever is keeping you confused and scattered. Disappearing. Simply means you are willingly cutting the social noise for a while.
You're willingly deactivating the apps. Even if it's for one day, two day, it's a popular narrative on social media disappear for six months and this will happen. I of course recommend you should disappear for six months or one year, but you shouldn't do that simply because someone is saying it, you should do it based on how it works for you.
When I went to India in February for the Literature Festival, I did disappear from work and everything. But that was what I believe. 2 to 3 weeks, I now disappear once a week, twice a week. Over the weekend, easy to maintain, easy to practice, easily accessible. And there could be few times a year when you fully disappear. Phone is disconnected.
Apps are deactivated and your family and urgent in a context, emergency context know where you are so that there is no panic happening. But on a weekly basis, on a daily basis, how do you disappear? What can you do? I'll share with you simple three easy steps that will help you to not only disappear, but meanwhile, disappearing will generate something very powerful in your authenticity, self expression and ultimately benefiting your abundance, your art, your healing, your
growth. If that feels exciting and fun, please continue to listen. Number one physical movement. If I can be specific daily morning walk, I've always gone for walks every day. I've experimented with afternoon walks, evening, night, morning walk. In my experience, there is some magic that happens in the morning walk. The birds are waking up, the breeze is so fresh.
The human mind is not stepped in, in its beast mode. Everything is slowly waking up and there is so much beauty in that moment. The earlier you go out for a walk, the better it is. I have recorded a podcast with Lauren and you would listen her ingenious, beautiful creative dip and tricks in that episode. And one of them is daily walk. Here's the thing with the walks, you go out as one person, but you come back as a different person.
However, if you're constantly consuming content on your walks, it may not be helpful. If you're always listening to a certain podcast music, something is always going on. It's not super helpful. If I listen to a podcast or a spiritual talk while I'm walking, I almost feel that my brain is taking over and I lose track of what I was thinking in that walk.
So this is the time when I listen to the birds, the fresh air, the sounds of the streets, the people walking by. And that can be the greatest source of grounding. You don't need to take your phone with you. It can be a fully disconnected walk where you are simply present in nature. It's one of the most powerful self-care routines and something that can make your social media disappearances a whole lot easier.
Number two, switch off notifications, all notifications. Don't even let your phone buzz or ding to distract you. If you have to, you can even disable your phone ringer. When you’re on your laptop or computer, switch off all notifications and make your workspace, a safe, sacred place. I think it's really helpful to set certain hours of your day as sacred, phone-free, notifications-free time. The phone is almost an external nervous system.
Your phone is almost an external nervous system where it is giving you constant notification. It is interrupting your day and some people live by those notifications, right? They keep the phone on for instant communication. It's almost like training yourself to be available all the time. And that's not healthy. Find a time to completely remove the phone's access to you. Not always easy, but it's effective.
In my experience, when I disable notifications, it allows me to work, create, process, and reflect in a space free of external interruptions. Your mind needs to focus to dive deep into your creative work. If you are in a constant cycle of notifications, you are losing your deep focus. Number three, when you disappear, make a plan to spend time with real people, not just online.
Whether it's through a hobby, a class, a community event, or a family gathering, connecting with people in person can be incredibly grounding and fulfilling. If you're someone who enjoys volunteering, making time for community service is also an excellent way to meet people and engage in meaningful activities. The connections you make in person can be so much richer and more rewarding than those made through a screen.
The key is to actively seek out experiences that allow you to connect with others in a real, tangible way. A 30-minute phone call or video chat with a friend or family member can be more satisfying than scrolling through a feed for hours. Creating boundaries with technology, making time to be present in real-life interactions, and finding moments to be offline can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced life.
Remember, disappearing doesn't mean abandoning your responsibilities or relationships. It means creating intentional space to reconnect with yourself and your immediate environment. By incorporating these practices, you can maintain a healthier balance between your online and offline worlds.
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