Healthy Masculinity & How to Embrace Your Rooted Masculine

Our society has created wars between genders, glorified patriarchy, and men who are machines of success and silence. The result? Men stripped of their softness, music, and soul instead of healthy masculinity, which can allow men to show up as their authentic selves for more fulfilling lives.

As a spiritual mentor, I’ve spent the last 15+ years exploring spirituality and healing for myself and through my work with others. During this time, I’ve stopped chasing what we’re often taught men should be to return to the wild, untamed playground within me and positive masculinity.

Below, we’ll explore healthy vs toxic masculinity, examples of healthy masculinity, and tantric laws for the rooted masculine. I’ll also share how you can embrace your rooted masculinity, which can lead to better mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.

Toxic Masculinity vs Healthy Masculinity

Toxic masculinity is based on societal pressures to be a strong provider and only show certain emotions, like anger and jealousy. Healthy masculinity is about overcoming these pressures and exploring who you truly are beyond what society tells you to be.

While toxic masculinity is about being strong and unshakable like a rock, healthy masculinity is more like a river – strong yet soft, flowing yet grounded. 

When you embrace your rooted masculinity, you aren’t following a blueprint. You’re getting clear in your vision, courageous in your truth, and soft in your love.

Healthy Masculinity Examples  

Positive masculinity requires separating yourself from common male stereotypes, like not showing weakness, suppressing “feminine” emotions, and being a provider. When you do this, you can lean into the healthy masculinity traits, like the following:

• Expressing emotions - Practice and become comfortable showing your full range of emotions, including gratitude, sadness, and overwhelm.

• Having healthy coping skills - Manage difficult emotions and thoughts through healthy practices, such as meditation, exercise, and social activities.

• Showing vulnerability - Being vulnerable lets you develop deeper, healthier relationships with yourself and others. You can practice vulnerability by developing an emotional vocabulary, sharing feelings, and asking for help.

• Setting boundaries - Support your mental, emotional, and physical well-being by setting boundaries with yourself and others. Set boundaries by identifying and communicating what you need, such as time for self-care or physical space after an argument.

• Being nurturing - Toxic masculinity often results in women taking on nurturing roles, but healthy masculinity allows men to also be nurturing. Explore your nurturing side by offering affection, affirmation, and attention to loved ones.

• Developing healthy relationships - Prioritize healthy relationships through active listening, respect and empathy, support, and understanding. 

8 Tantric Laws for the Rooted Masculine

To take healthy masculinity a step further, let’s explore the tantric laws for the rooted masculine, which include many of the healthy masculinity traits mentioned above. 

In Tantra, an ancient spiritual tradition, true masculinity is multi-dimensional and deeply rooted in the balance of strength and softness. We often think of the divine feminine when we hear Tantra, but the masculine energy is also essential, and the tantric laws can help you achieve it.

1. Embrace the Power of Presence

The rooted masculine is fully present. This takes mindfulness and time, as many struggle to be present in a chaotic world.

Being present as a part of healthy masculinity means you hear and listen. You show up fully – creating a space where others feel safe, seen, and valued.

2. Honor Your Vulnerability

In your rooted masculinity, vulnerability is crucial. Embrace your wounds, doubts, and struggles. Although this can sometimes feel uncomfortable, sharing these parts of yourself leads to deeper connection and self-acceptance.

3. Stay Balanced Between Boundaries and Openness

Boundaries aren’t walls – they’re the architecture of self-reverence. Learning when to hold your ground and when to let go lets you create healthy limits without losing yourself.

4. Be the Calm Amidst a Storm

In your rooted, healthy masculinity, you can hold your center even during chaos. Instead of running from the storm of life’s struggles and stressors, ground yourself and remain calm. This lets you provide yourself and others with peace and stability.

5. Channel Your Passion with Purpose

Masculine energy is raw, powerful, and intense. This can lead to toxic masculinity – but not if you channel it creatively for positive masculinity. Direct your passion with the intention to create, build, and nurture in a way that serves a higher purpose. 

For example, if you have an unmet passion for physical fitness, this energy can become self-serving or destructive. However, if you channel this passion with intention and purpose by say, training underprivileged youth to reclaim their health and confidence, you can transform your raw energy for strength into an act of service.

6. Dance with the Feminine

In your masculinity, it might feel natural to control your wild feminine. Instead, honor her freedom. By embracing the unpredictable feminine nature, you learn to embrace your own complexity and find strength in the dance between your masculine and feminine energies.

7. Act with Integrity

Don’t over-promise or under-deliver. Integrity isn’t only about honesty – it’s about aligning your actions with your values. This lets you create a solid foundation others can trust. 

To act with integrity, identify your values and act accordingly whether others are watching or not.

8. Know the Power of Surrendering

Surrendering isn’t a weakness; it’s freedom. The rooted masculine knows that letting go can be the most powerful act. Through surrendering, you can connect with a force beyond ego.

Healthy Masculinity: FAQs

What does healthy masculinity look like?

Healthy masculinity looks like depth as you stand in your truth and embrace your emotions, vulnerability, and purpose. 

With healthy masculinity, you leave dominance behind to create space for exploring your inner masculine and feminine without shame. This can help you become a softer, healthier, and happier version of yourself – your rooted masculine.

How to practice healthy masculinity?

Practicing healthy masculinity often requires a lot of unlearning, exploring, and effort since society has taught men to follow certain male stereotypes.

To embrace positive masculinity, you’ll need to break free from societal scripts and get to know your authentic self. I often recommend meditating for this, as the purpose of meditation is to slow down, quiet the mind, and discover your truest self.

What is unhealthy masculine energy?

Unhealthy masculine energy, or toxic masculinity, is the belief that men should be dominant and only show specific emotions like jealousy and anger while suppressing other emotions such as fear and sadness. The traits and beliefs of toxic masculinity often lead to mental health issues, violence, and unhealthy relationships.

How to be masculine without being toxic?

You can be masculine without being toxic by welcoming all emotions, being vulnerable, and acting with integrity. Most importantly, let go of society’s rules for what masculinity should be. 

When you leave behind expectations and control, you make room for simply being and feeling what comes up in each moment. Naturally, this will lead you to your rooted masculine while dancing with your feminine.

How to Embrace Your Rooted Masculinity

Uncovering and embracing a rooted, healthy masculinity can be incredibly rewarding. But how do we do this in a society that doesn’t support this? By exploring who you’re meant to be.

There’s no specific path for discovering your rooted masculinity. It’s all about defining healthy masculinity for yourself on your terms, which requires a journey back to your authentic self.

Through my work, I can support you as you uncover your truest self and embrace your rooted masculinity. If you’re ready to redefine masculinity for a more fulfilling life, explore my resources:

• The Leela Show Podcast - Learn about self-discovery to uncover your authentic self

• Cosmic Download - Receive custom guided meditation practices and Dharma based on your strengths, weaknesses, and goals

• Cosmic Circle - Join a community of like-minded people on a spiritual journey and redefine yourself with interactive workshops, meditation practices, and Dharma talk

• Advanced Tantra Mastery - Get personalized spiritual mentorship to shed layers, reveal your true self, and discover your rooted masculine